deerlyBeloved Profile

[newtralize]

deerlyBeloved: FantasticBeast Is that a beast in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;) Meek in the streets, but possibly a beast in the sheets. It's the quiet ones that are the most likely to be the wildest in bed. This fine specimen doesn't know, since he's a virgin, but that doesn't mean he isn't willing to have a grand ol' time either. What this man needs is someone who can tame the wilds of his heart and bring out his primal needs and the wild beast within. He may seem a bit shy, but he'll surely bloom under the right circumstances if you get what I mean. Like a true Hufflepuff, he's loyal at heart and a hard worker. He'll surely show that hard work where you want him to. PS: He turns 30 on the 24th. Give him a night to remember.

( Newt Scamander | 30 | M | Wild like his creatures )

Comments

text; un: top price

[tagartist]

lol called it

Please be gentle with his murder, Chloe

[newtralize]

Called what??? What are you calling?

I

What is this?

no prisoners

[tagartist]

welcome to the future, newt!! this is a dating app. it's where people can swipe left or right depending on if they wanna bang you or naw and you're more likely to end up creeped on than getting an actual, functioning relationship

and i called you being a virgin
no one calls it "mating" who's actually had sex

Hewwo Powice. I've just seen a murder.

[newtralize]

Why would people need a dating app? What happened to just meeting others in person??? What

That sounds absolutely dreadful!!!

[The future is awful??? THIS IS AWFUL???]

I

CHLOE?!

[Wow, he wants to die???]

Please tell me that you haven't been considering the status of by virginity for this long.

Please.

he deserves more than this. also cw for date drugging reference

[tagartist]

i did that once and i got drugged, 0/10 i'll stick to strangers who i know are upfront about wanting it to be casual

of course i have
what else am i going to do after your incredibly hilarious attempt to define fuck

text; un: NebuBAE♛

[princessences]

Happy Birthday!

Should I say that I am sorry about your virginity? This profile is presenting it as something to overcome.

[newtralize]

It isn't for another week or two, but thank you. I do appreciate it.

I

Please don't apologize about my virginity. I really rather not think about the fact that it's now out for everyone to read. Dreadfully emabrrassing.

I think many people would consider that I would have had

Had experience by now. I suppose.

[princessences]

I must admit, I'm not exactly sure what the social norms are in regards to intimacy on Earth. Is not having experience unusual?

[newtralize]

I believe society tends to expect certain things of us at a certain age. Such as having experience in more intimate matters or being married or even having children.

I have never particularly cared for such societal norms. I prefer the company of creatures to people, so these kind of expectations go well against my comfort.

[princessences]

I understand. I believe most cultures have something similar.

[ She's very aware of what would be considered normal for her people and, especially, of her station. ]

We are hardly bound by the societal norms of our people here, though.

UN: HighKing

[spectacularlyhighking]

I'm not sure about taming, but I can certainly help you with those "primal needs"

[newtralize]

Merlin.

I'm

This is the most embarrassing moment of my life. It really can't get any worse than this.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Are you sure? Because I can think of several things I could have said that would have been worse.

[newtralize]

I

Do I really want to challenge that? What could you possibly say that would be worse. Since I'm out to be completely mortified, I might as well ask.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Oh there are so many things to choose from, Newt. I could comment on the fact that you're a virgin... which I could have guessed. Or make a lewd comment about your "blooming." Or wonder about that "beast" in your pocket... I could go on but I'm just imagining how red your face is and don't want to give you an aneurysm.

[legendaring]

Quite the glamour shot.

[newtralize]

I don't remember ever posing for this photo. I am pretty sure that I never posed for this photo. It doesn't even move! Unlike muggle photos, our photos move. Why would I pose for a muggle photo?!

I don't even own that coat.

[legendaring]

Candid photo maybe?

Except for the coat, I guess.

Maybe it's edited?

[newtralize]

I don't think I've taken a muggle photo before, but I think trying to figure out how this place got some unknown photo of me is more of a headache than anything else.

Edited? What do you mean edited? How would you do that?

[legendaring]

Using computers. Cutting photos together.

Nothing too difficult, really.

un: the oa

[revenante]

I've come to find the idea of sex to be overrated.

Whoever writes these certainly has a way with words.

[newtralize]

I had completely forgotten about this blasted app.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'm just being made fun of.

I have no strong opinions of the act, but it isn't exactly something I think about here very often.

[That would require someone liking him to pursue more intimate relations and Newt very much doesn't think that's really ever gonna happen. It's fine.]

[revenante]

I'm sorry for the reminder. It's still pretty new for me.

I know the feeling. My own profile is... [ She is not pleased with what's been written about her, to be honest. ] I can't say I'm a fan.

No, I don't really see how anyone has any time for sex here, let alone giving it as much as a thought.

Not back home, either?

[newtralize]

I've been told this is a dating app? But what I was told was rather concerning. I'm not sure if I do enjoy these dating apps. [Thanks Chloe.]

It's at least harmless in comparison to what else this place tends to do, so I let it be for the most part. There are certainly worse things that can happen than a mortifying profile released to the general public. [Maybe back home, it would be one of the worst things, but Deerington has exposed him to some terrible things.]

I find that perhaps the constant emotional distress might make people more prone to wanting to connect with others in any intimate capacity, honestly.

You could say that I was not exactly popular, nor was I very social to begin with.

[revenante]

I remember dating apps used to be just websites, not phone apps. I can't say I was interested in those either.

[ Also as if her parents out let her using her use a dating website, even if she was entering her twenties. ]

That makes sense. There's solace in casual sex, or any form intimacy. People usually make it about sex but there's more to it than just that. There's other ways of being intimate with others, sometimes without even touching another person. It's harder, but doable. Either way, it makes you feel less alone.

I get that. I wasn't popular either. I guess I had friends but my parents were kinda overprotective. I was... really different back then. It's hard to explain, I guess.