deerlyBeloved Profile

[newtralize]

deerlyBeloved: FantasticBeast Is that a beast in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;) Meek in the streets, but possibly a beast in the sheets. It's the quiet ones that are the most likely to be the wildest in bed. This fine specimen doesn't know, since he's a virgin, but that doesn't mean he isn't willing to have a grand ol' time either. What this man needs is someone who can tame the wilds of his heart and bring out his primal needs and the wild beast within. He may seem a bit shy, but he'll surely bloom under the right circumstances if you get what I mean. Like a true Hufflepuff, he's loyal at heart and a hard worker. He'll surely show that hard work where you want him to. PS: He turns 30 on the 24th. Give him a night to remember.

( Newt Scamander | 30 | M | Wild like his creatures )

Comments

[newtralize]

I

Do I really want to challenge that? What could you possibly say that would be worse. Since I'm out to be completely mortified, I might as well ask.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Oh there are so many things to choose from, Newt. I could comment on the fact that you're a virgin... which I could have guessed. Or make a lewd comment about your "blooming." Or wonder about that "beast" in your pocket... I could go on but I'm just imagining how red your face is and don't want to give you an aneurysm.

[newtralize]

Me being a virgin shouldn't be worth commenting about! Being a virgin is completely fine. I don't see why this is a topic worth talking about.

I have had other pressing things to do that doesn't include having sex.

[Newt is so awkward about even hugs, that the idea of sex and being naked around someone else is a mortifying and anxiety inducing thought. This is why he's single. It's easier than trying to find someone who would like him. :(]

Dear Merlin.

I take it back. It is worse. I don't think I could possibly look anyone in the eye after all this.

Although, the beast in my pocket is probably Pickett. He usually hides in my pocket, remember?

[Amazingly missing the point.]

[spectacularlyhighking]

Newt... the crack about a beast in your pocket is not referring to a literal beast. Nor is it referring to your jacket pocket.

[newtralize]

Do I

What does it mean then?!

Do I actually want to know the answer to this? I get the feeling I really don't.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Think about what other pockets you have... and what parts of your anatomy they're near.

[newtralize]

I actually have no idea what you mean by other pockets, but the context clues based off anatomy and the rest of that bloody awful profile gives me enough to know what's being implied.

Absolutely mortifying. As though I would embarrass someone and myself to ask such a thing.

[spectacularlyhighking]

You're certainly not the type. Hell, even I'd have to be pretty wasted to use that sort of line on anyone.

[newtralize]

I imagine you would be a little more tasteful with your words. You seem to be more on the charming side than vulgar at the very least.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Typically, yes. Though I can be quite vulgar if I want to be.

[newtralize]

That wasn't an invitation to actually start being vulgar, I hope you realize.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Somehow I don't know that I could with you.

[newtralize]

I don't know what that says about me, honestly. I think I should be relieved? I'd probably just be terribly mortified otherwise.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Relieved works. By the way, if it makes you feel any better I seem to have a profile, too.

[newtralize]

That absolutely does not make me feel better. We don't have these kind of things in the 1920s! The idea that people make profiles with information that might not even be honest to try and date others just seem rather ridiculous to me.

Phones do only what they were invented to do. Make calls. I'm not a bird. I don't need to make calls with some mating call to attract others!!

[spectacularlyhighking]

Of course in your time weren't people scandalized by knee caps?

Time change, Newt. You've just had the unfortunate pleasure of being shoved forward almost a century. To be honest, I'm not a big user of mobile phones. Even back home I didn't use it as much as others of my generation. I have more important things to do with my time than stare at a screen.

[newtralize]

Have you never seen a flapper dress before? We are well far from being scandalized by an exposed knee.

We don't typically use a lot of muggle invention. I don't know many who had a landline in their home. I didn't have one. We always could communicate with floo powder if necessary or something. I guess we were more into interacting face to face.

[spectacularlyhighking]

That's my preference, too. You lose a lot by communicating over some device. I'd much prefer it face to face.

[newtralize]

You do strike me as someone who likes to be among people.

It's more personal. Interacting face to face.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Very much so. There's something more gratifying about actually being around people instead of just talking at them remotely.

[newtralize]

That is a sentiment that I think I've only started to appreciate very recently. I can't say I had much of an opinion about socializing with others other than that I wasn't fond of it at all.

[spectacularlyhighking]

Seems like you've been growing progressively more comfortable with it.

[newtralize]

I still prefer creatures, don't get me wrong.

There are people that are an exception to the norm though.

[spectacularlyhighking]

I'm hoping that I fall under that category.

[newtralize]

[Newt doesn't have to think about Eliot being the exception to the norm.

He has to think about how much the other means to him and that is some slippery slope.] Quite. I cannot think of someone else o the top of that list, really.