The End Of Love

[newtralize]

We were reaching in the dark
That summer in New York
And it was so far to fall
But it didn't hurt at all
And let it wash away, wash away

Comments

[periit]

[ For most of his life Percival had followed what was expected of him—get good grades, be well behaved and hide your sneaking out with friends, get into an esteemed college, earn a respectable degree so that you can go back and teach as an alumnus, all while going steady with a girl and eventually plan on marrying her. For the few weeks or so, Percival thought it heartbreak. It was more than that, however.

Consider it, will you? It might make you happier, Her voice echoes in his mind at the most inconvenient of times. And he did, often, if only to appease that looming thought.

And how the resolution struck him he really isn’t sure. A mixture of a bottle of wine and another lonely night, undoubtedly, wanting to have some kind of relief other than by himself. He’d found the app after looking at handfuls of posts, downloading it on a whim. It felt more like a joking indulgence; surely he wasn’t going to meet someone from it. Until he stumbled across a post titled: Anonymously.

The immediate acceptance he found from that alone was startlingly sobering, and it takes him minutes of blank staring before he makes a decision he doesn’t entirely make conclusively. The cursor blinks at him as he thinks how to start the conversation. ]

Meeting anonymously is new to me but you’ve made it very tempting, if you don’t mind my saying. I’m free to meet up now, if that works for you?

[ That was polite and to the point, right? Yes. Send. ]

[newtralize]

[People were not created equal, he had found. Very early on. He had always been different from other boys, or so he had observed. As he grew older, it had become more and more obvious. He tried his best and had a loving family that he loved back. He had aspirations and dreams like any other person, but when romance came to play, things were apparently different.

Giving flowers to boys or asking for a kiss was apparently weird. Enough bullying had taught him that and so he tucks that detail away deep in his heart.

He's in college now and he still has kept that detail close to his heart. The only people that knew were some of his closest friends. His family probably knew (or at least his brother), but he had never explicitly told them. His friends only knew because his attempt at dating one of them and it not working out for obvious reason. He was gracious that they had been accepting and kind, but he still couldn't convince himself to be more open about it.

Unfortunately, it also meant he didn't pursue relationships of any kind. Still, he was a guy and even someone like him wasn't a virgin by any means. Hook ups had just ended up being his way of satisfying himself. It's loveless, but it was at least sexually fulfilling.

The best part was that they were anonymous. As long as he were careful, he didn't have to reveal himself. He had some details, but nothing that particularly gave him away. Body type and such. Enough to give someone something to imagine, but not enough for them to identify them amongst a crowd.

He's somewhat surprised to get a reply asking for something so immediate. It's one thing to ask and plan and another thing completely to ask to immediately meet up. Well, he wasn't busy and it had been a bit since his last time.]

How very polite. I prefer things to stay anonymous. For my sake, and usually for those pursuing it. I happen to be free. I assume you live close to campus then?

The men's bathroom in the art building on the second floor. Second to last stall. Bring a condom. [Look, he promised Tina he'd be safe about his hook ups and he was going to keep his word.] Knock two times against the wall.

[periit]

[ Something akin to regret swells in him after he sends the message—an anxious worry, even. Possibly the effects of the wine vaporing away with the realization of his action. An anonymous hookup! Who was he? This, and many more why’s fly around Percival’s head as he lets his phone clatter on the coffee table before he leans back on the couch.

At least until his phone sounds off in notification. Butterflies swarm in his stomach before a knot quiets them down. Hands drag off his face, lingering over his mouth for a few moments before one reaches over to grab his phone again. It could be a rejection, He thinks. It had been a rather sudden prompting to meet, but the posting had been specific enough he thought it only for tonight.

But seeing that it isn’t a rejection makes the skin along his arms and up to his neck prickle. ]

A relief to hear. I live nearby, yes. I’ll make sure to grab one and be there shortly.

[ He starts gathering his things to leave but pauses a moment when he has a thought. With a jacket over his arm, halfway out the door, he messages the other again. ]

Were you looking to receive as well? I only ask because unfortunately my technique hasn’t had much practice.

[ Honest communication is healthy, strangers or not. ]

[newtralize]

[Newt can't help but laugh a little at his phone when he reads the messages. They really were new to this. It was somewhat charming.]

Not this time.

[He isn't exactly opposed, but he also doesn't want to jump into something like that so quickly and so suddenly. And he would be lying if it hasn't been awhile and the amount of preparation was just something he didn't feel like going through right now.]

I have to get up early tomorrow and the amount of preparation on both sides is a lot. [It does make Newt wonder if the other was new to just more than hooking up.

Newt dresses in pretty casual clothes and worn out sneakers. Something generic that wouldn't identify him. The last thing he wanted was someone to recognize his beat up Oxfords or worn out boots from a sexual encounter. Something comfortable was nice also given that any amount of sex in the bathroom stalls of your university were not exactly luxurious.

A thought that he is constantly reminded of while sitting in one of the stalls.]

[periit]

[ That this man doesn’t tease him for his lack of experience is a relief, lets his nagging worry about this meeting drift away. At least until Percival gets to the university. If the trip over hadn’t been sobering then each step closer to the bathroom certainly was.

Clothes had been the last thing on his mind when he left and thankfully he had the habit of changing when he got home from class, since all his mind could concentrate on was what was about to happen. It was… exciting? Quite the foreign concept.

Second to last, he thinks to himself. And—

Eyes linger on the door of the occupied stall as he steps in to the one beside it. Somehow the click of the lock sounds louder now, though not nearly as much as his knock does. Once, then twice. ]