newtralize | Then we are dead.

[Newt definitely has his oddities, along with his sometimes awkward manner in dealing with people. He can't entirely blame other students for thinking him strange at times, but also, they're certainly wrong for bullying him and teasing him. That sort of behavior should never be allowed or tolerated and it frustrates him that no one really stood up against that.]

The people at Hogwarts expected you to be like me? [Theseus is somehow, surprised by this. It never quite occurred to him that sort of thing started way back in Hogwarts. The Ministry, he could see it, but even at school?]

But you shouldn't be resigned to people treating you poorly, Newt.

[Perhaps empty words, since Newt's dealt with this for so long. Theseus can't just say nothing, however. That also feels wrong. Perhaps there's just no good way to really fix this.

But before Theseus can go further south with his thoughts, Newt's final comment catches his attention. Does... does he mean? Perhaps he's looking far too much into his words, but. But he has to be sure.]

...Did you love her?

You're... [A helpless shrug.] You're a lot of things I'll never be. [And it's not like he necessarily cares or wants to be like Theseus because he was himself and not Theseus, but-] I think people had expectations of me that I couldn't make. I suppose if you had expectations, it would be disappointing to end up with someone like me. [Which is a little self deprecating.]

I'm not sure what you want me to do. To expend energy being upset or frustrated over something that I can't change? [There's no bite in his tone, but Newt doesn't know what Theseus expects. He can't change how people treat or feel about him.

He looks at his hands as he wrings them.] I was- I had been so bitter. So upset. I should have spent more time together when I had the chance. [His voice cracks a little. He had held it together for Theseus back in Paris, but Newt wasn't some indestructible pillar.] There was no reason for me to be as distant as I had been to either of you. I knew better, logically.

[...Disappointing? They're just vastly different. It's pointless to compare them. Theseus doesn't quite fully grasp it, other than thinking the futility of expecting Newt to be like him. Just like how it would be futile thinking that he would be like Newt at all.

That makes sense, right?

Well, at least Theseus can be easily be outraged by the next bit.]

Yes, be upset! [Well, not exactly like that.] Ngh, I mean... they need to realize that you are deserving of respect.

[But that conversation is perhaps saved for a different time, not with Leta still between them. With this new information revealed to him. While Newt didn't directly answer his question, his avoidance of a clear answer speaks volumes anyway. He... doesn't really know how to react, to know that his brother loved her since high school.

Did she return his affections? Did she still love him?

But whatever bitterness Theseus may feel is tempered down when Newt admits his own feelings, how he was upset and regretful for not spending time with them.]

I know.

[His own voice shutters, still not regained its composure since Paris.] ...I know.

Theseus, if I got upset everytime it happened, I'd be bloody miserable all the time. [He feels like he needs to emphasize that this wasn't a rare occurrence, but something that he had experienced much of his life.] It didn't stop after Hogwarts. [He heard what his coworkers had said about him back when he worked in the Ministry. Eccentric was just a word people used when they didn't want to be outright rude. There were less savory things said about him of course.

Newt rubs at his eyes. He won't cry. He refuses to.

He had always been awful about his own feelings. It was why it had taken him so long to get over his feelings for Leta. It was why that even after he stopped being in love with her, he was still so bitter about what she had done.

Even now, he thinks about how much Leta's death affected Theseus and didn't think about just how much it weighed on himself.] I'm sorry. [It comes out so quietly.]

[So, Newt's been looked down upon for most of his life. That's the gist of it. Why is it surprising? It should've been obvious. Maybe it just hurts more hearing all this from Newt himself, rather than just assuming anything. Nonetheless, Theseus looks less than pleased by this, and this issue isn't over, but he decides to let it go for the time being.

...

With Newt's quiet apology, the pain clear in his voice, Theseus takes a step closer to him before pulling him into a hug. He manages to hold back any loud sobs, but his voice is quiet as well, the strength gone from his voice.]

...I'm sorry too.

Then we are dead.

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