newtralize | Deerington Inbox

Deerington Inbox

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Ah. Er, hello? Oh, uhm. This is rather weird...right! T-This is Newt Scamander. Well, actually, this is a pre recorded message for Newt Scamander. I'm quite busy, so I may have missed you. Do please leave a message and I'll get back to you. Apologies.

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_{[Hey, magical brother from another mother.]}

So what would it take to get a little Hogwarts-style Yule going for the holidays? Don't get me wrong, Brakebills was great on our end of the pond, but prepubescent me has ALWAYS wanted a wizard Christmas.

Think about it. We could pool the best of both worlds.

_{[Say yes. Say yes!]}

Oh!

That was

Well, that was mildly terrifying. I didn't realize this would make such a loud noise when receiving messages.

Uhm. What do you mean Hogwarts-style Yule?

[He's a little slow with replying back. He's doing his best, but phones are very new to him.]

_{[Oh, you precious, precious man.]}

Volume control will safe your life. The keys with triangle symbols on them.

And I'm talking about the Christmas celebrations you had at Hogwarts. You might say they're the stuff of legend to us Yanks.

[He has never had a phone before, okay!!! Especially one so advanced.]

I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this if I'm being quite honest. I keep forgetting I have it.

It wouldn't be particularly hard to recreate it to some extent. I wouldn't be able to replicate the size of the Great Hall without immense difficulty, but the decorations and such is pretty simple. I can, if you want.

You'll get used to it. Cellular technology is a magic user's best friend!

_{[Not really, but it sounds nice, doesn't it?]}

Hard yes! Count me in, full stop. Can we do butterbeer? Please say we can do butterbeer! You know, competing to recreate the closest recipe was one of our school traditions, except no one who could tell who got the closest. You could be the definitive authority!

_{[This is rad.

So. Rad.]}

There really is no use to a phone when I could just apparate or use floo powder. Owl post isn't all that bad either, although not as quick if it's long distance.

[He can't hold his briefcase, a phone, and his wand all at once. The phone is just not going to work for him.]

Do we have a particular location we're decorating? Your place I presume? You seem rather excited about this. Perhaps I am merely desensitized to it, but I have never thought of how we celebrate the seasons to be that mind blowing. I did grow up with it though.

I didn't celebrate last year though due to traveling.

[Celebrating it with people seems less dreary than alone two years in a row.]

_{[Someone clearly hasn't figured out the device can wrap around his wrist yet...]}

Think of it like a Howler that won't blow up in your face and you'll be fine. Perfect for those days you're too lazy to put on pants.

And wherever you want, my man! Your place, my place, appropriating someone's campus dorm room for cramped the school aesthetic... We can get our party on anywhere.

All the more reason to go all out this year, right? We'll make it one to remember, and you can make up for last year and educate an American magical adept in the process.

_{[Yeah, he's excited, okay.]}

[Newt is the grandpa who doesn't know how to use technology. Ignore the fact he isn't even thirty yet.]

That sounds...awful still. I don't really want something yelling at me regardless if it burns itself up after or not.

I always put on pants. I don't understand.

[Josh is probably the most confusing man he has met out of everyone he has met for now.]

I'd prefer your place, but mostly because I worry that the niffler will pilfer everything from everyone who comes here. He's getting better about it, but I'm still finding stuff that is clearly not from my place or something he should have.

I think you might have a rather inaccurate idea about the amount of space we had at Hogwarts. The common room was fairly roomy and so were the rooms. They weren't cramped at all. [Hogwarts was a huge ass castle.]

I can come over and decorate your place whenever you wish though. That shouldn't be any problem and I have plenty of time on my hands.

IF YOU CAN STILL READ THIS, YOU'VE ALREADY MASTERED TEXT YELLING.

I'd compare texting to Ginny and Tom Riddle's pen pal relationship with the diary, but that might go over your head and break the time continuum all at once. I'll give you some lessons as a thank you, let's go with that instead. How's that?

_{[They'll get you up to snuff, gramps.]}

Thieving critter. Got it. You're more than welcome. If we're going to be stuck here, I can't imagine a better way to spend the holidays.

That looks

Terribly aggressive. I'd prefer if you didn't type at me like that.

[He doesn't like it. :( Text yelling is scary. it's like being yelled at.]

I

Who? I don't know a Ginny or a Tom Riddle. Are these people I should know? I wouldn't say no to having a better grasp with this, but I don't actually use it too much either.

[Ironic, because he's not exactly great with face to face interaction.]

You met the niffler already. The small guy when we first met? He keeps stealing my cutlery from the drawers.

Did you want me to decorate your place right now??>/font>

Okay well, look, no one really texts like that unless they're old or an asshole, so you'll be fine.

Um, don't worry about it. All that matters is you being able to see my messages when I invite you over to my place for hang outs! And when the three-eyed dogs warn us we're all going to die. The important stuff. Everything else you can pick up as you go.

That depends. You sure you want to leave the little guy alone with your stuff?

Oh.

[The difference between hanging out and being warned they're all gonna die are very stark, you know. Josh. Please.]

Honestly, I don't know what else I need to use this for other than communicating.

It'll be fine. He doesn't leave the house anymore, so I think he has learned better to at least stay home. Getting my stuff back from him isn't that much of a problem.

I'll need to get some supplies first, but I can join you shortly after.

The most fun stuff Deerington doesn't even let us do. Nothing wrong with using your phone as a phone.

If you're sure! I have a roast going. I'll treat you to a Hoberman-style homecooked meal.

I'll see you soon then, Josh.

Thank you for the invitation.

Don't mention it! It's kind of a selfish invite. I'll do my best to make sure you don't regret it! Consider my home your home.

I suppose it'll be one blended magical home when we're done with it. Best Christmas held captive in another world ever!

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Gonna handwave them actually meeting up if that's alright with you!

i never hit send on this tag, sorry! yyy!